Friday, November 27, 2015

GunFail #1

GunFail

Nov. 24, 2015: I am a Miami Beach police officer working a desk job. A few days ago while on a training run with a superior officer, I responded to a call about a burglar alarm going off. There was a dog on the premises who scared the bejesus out of me, so I pulled my gun and accidentally fired it. Luckily, no one was hurt.

November 23, 2015: I was playing with some friends in Council Bluffs, Iowa when we found a gun in my grandfather's house. We took it outside to play with it, even though I'm 12 and should know better than to play with a real gun. Then I got spooked and fired the gun into the ground. We were very lucky no one got hurt.

November 23, 2015: I live in Alaska and I love to hunt. I was out hunting with my girlfriend and handed a rifle to her where she was up in a tree stand. She lost her grip, then grabbed the gun near the trigger, which fired and killed me. Guess the hunting season is over for me this year. I think she'll carry some mental scars over this for the rest of her life.

November 24, 2015: I was outside and crawled under our mobile home trying to kill a nuisance opossum when I learned the hard way that even when you think you are handling a gun safely, they're still not safe. I shot at the stupid animal, but the bullet hit something hard and ricocheted back and through my leg. The gun WAS safe for the opossum as he got away.

November 24, 2015: I may have screwed myself three times in one day. First, I accidentally shot myself in the foot with my shotgun. Then I told the police I'd been attacked and lying to the police isn't really legal. Then, the police found that I had discarded the shotgun and some ammo not too far from the shooting site, and leaving dangerous weapons around where kids can find them isn't very legal either. I think I'll suggest to my lawyer that I should be tested for low IQ.

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