Saturday, April 30, 2011

Late Night Politcal Jokes

This was compiled from Bill in Portland Maine over at Daily Kos...


"The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump."
---Jay Leno
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"If this [birth certificate] really is from 1961, why is there not a single mention of Ed Sullivan? He was huge! And where is the stain from the delivering doctor's martini???"
---Stephen Colbert
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"A new study found that Americans spend $1.2 trillion every year on stuff they don’t need. Or as Republicans call it: health care."
---Jimmy Fallon
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"We haven’t changed since time began. That's why it's the same stories in the Old Testament and the New York Post. Scientifically we've advanced a lot, but human nature is exactly the same. That's why nanotechnology can isolate a single strand of DNA and stop a global plague, but we still need guards at the zoo so nobody tries to jump over the fence and kick the polar bear in the balls just to be a You Tube sensation."
---Colin Quinn, from Long Story Short
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"I think these storms are God’s way of sending us a message. I think that message is that when warm humid air masses surge northward from the Gulf of Mexico and combine with a strong jet stream, it can result in severe weather conditions."
---Jimmy Kimmel

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