Learning the Language Of The Recession

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

1. CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
2. CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
3. Bull Market: A random market movement causing investors to mistake themselves for financial geniuses
4. Bear Market: a 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance
5. Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower
6. Broker: What my financial planner has made me
7. Standard & Poor: Your life in a nutshell
8. Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks
9. Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the drain
10. Institutional Investor: Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse
11. Profit: An archaic word no longer in use.