Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Learning the Language Of The Recession

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

  1. CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
  2. CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
  3. Bull Market: A random market movement causing investors to mistake themselves for financial geniuses
  4. Bear Market: a 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance
  5. Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower
  6. Broker: What my financial planner has made me
  7. Standard & Poor: Your life in a nutshell
  8. Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks
  9. Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the drain
  10. Institutional Investor: Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse
  11. Profit: An archaic word no longer in use.

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