How big businesses fail

How to destroy an American company: a play in one act

Dramatis personae:

–A cabal of bankers

–A citizen

Banker 1: “So, I have an idea. Let’s buy Acme Company and take it private!”

Banker 2: “Hmm. It’s a good idea, but I don’t want to risk any of my own money.”

Banker 3: “Oooh! I know! Let’s find some investors to loan us the money at high interest rates, which we will then guarantee with the assets of the Acme Company. That way, we won’t have to put up much money, and the investors can get their money back out of the company’s profits.”

Banker 1: “Nice. And here’s a thought: we can charge the investors exorbitant fees for putting the deal together.”

Banker 2: “Yes! And you know, we can charge Acme exorbitant fees, too, for our management ‘advice’ and ‘expertise.’”

Banker 3: “I love it. We make money no matter what … even if the business tanks.”

Banker 4: “Just a question, guys: if we take all of Acme’s profits in fees and loan payments, how will they invest in their business? How will they modernize their product lines, refresh their stores, and invest in online sales?”

General laughter erupts.

Banker 4: “Sorry, guys. I just had a moment. Forgive me.”

… Five years elapse …

Customer standing outside store: “Why did this place close? Damn millennials don’t shop in real stores any more.”

End

Source
http://politicalprof.tumblr.com/post/181020069608/how-to-destroy-an-american-company-a-play-in-one