Sunday, December 13, 2015

Shooting report

December 6, 2015: It was my gun, a .22 caliber rifle, but I didn't know it was loaded. Perhaps the bullets quietly crept into the chamber when I wasn't looking? Anyway, I dropped the gun, it discharged and shot me in my tummy.

December 6, 2015: I shot myself in the leg, but being embarrassed by my stupidity, I lied to the police and said it was a drive-by shooting. Of course, the coppers don't like being sent on a wild goose chase, so now I'm probably in worse trouble.

December 7, 2015: It's tough being a cop. Carrying a gun is a huge responsibility and because so many other people have guns, it's easy to be put in the position of making a mistake. Which I, and a few of my fellow officers did the other day – make a mistake, that is. We had a hostage situation and when one of the people in the building came out, we thought he was the bad guy and shot him. Turns out he was a hostage. And he was safer with the bad guy than he was with us. Oops. Our bad.

December 7, 2015: One important fact to consider what with this proliferation of guns in the U.S. is that guns are impersonal. If you're going to kill me, please verify that I'm the person you want – walk up to me with a knife, look me in the eye, and make sure you're killing me for a good reason. Don't drive past me as I'm leaving a party and kill me. That's not nice.

December 8, 2015: Too many of those of us here in Easton have guns and no brains. In the past eight months, three of us have shot ourselves. Sure am glad I've got that gun to keep me safe – from everybody but me. Unless, of course, the gun isn't loaded when I meet a bad guy because I'm afraid I'll shoot myself again. Just sayin'.
http://www.enterprisenews.com/article/20151208/NEWS/151206842

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