Sunday, May 31, 2009
Storage tankers across the globe may be brimming with oil that no one is buying because of the global economic downturn, but the traditional laws of supply and demand don't always apply to oil prices. Drivers have faced rising prices at the gas pump in recent months, as investors and oil-producing countries hoard supplies in anticipation of a global economic recovery later this year.Until American laws change to prohibit the speculating in commodities that impact Americans so directly, this kind of crap will continue forever.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
10) Found walking upright and breathing through nose so refreshing, we decided to do it permanently.
9) "Supermajority" sounds so bitchin'.
8) Constant whining about religious persecution got on our last goddamned nerve.
7) Tired of consoling drunk, sobbing Newt Gingrich at 3am about the future of the Republican party.
6) Was only using conservatism for the tax cuts.
5) Wanted to join a party that would support our fetish for having a dominatrix bash our groin with a gavel while reading dirty-sounding words from Robert's Rules of Order.
4) Couldn't shake the feeling we were being watched when using the GOP men's room.
3) Three words: Palin in 2012.
2) Obama is just so dreamy.
1) Have you listened to these guys?
From Circle Jerk at the Square Dance
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I like this Bruce Schneier quote from a CNN article on the TSA's new whole body scanner, which lets TSA inspectors look at your genitals through your clothes:
"It's stupid to spend money so terrorists can change plans," he said by phone from Poland, where he was speaking at a conference. If terrorists are swayed from going through airports, they'll just target other locations, such as a hotel in Mumbai, India, he said.
"We'd be much better off going after bad guys ... and back to pre-9/11 levels of airport security," he said. "There's a huge 'cover your ass' factor in politics, but unfortunately, it doesn't make us safer."
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Patriotic retirement: There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $1 million a piece severance with stipulations:
1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage- Housing Crisis fixed
There's only one problem with this (if his figures are correct) - the cost would be $40 Trillion - that's $40,000,000,000.000. According to The World Fact Book, the entire Gross Domestic Product of the US in 2008 was $14.28 Trillion.
|From Acerbic Politics|
This seems to be real - there's a website. (There's also a pop-up ad that jumps out when you log in - for sex services.) LINK
Note - these are not "ex-hookers."
Isn't religion fascinating? Everybody who believes takes the parts of the story they like and mold it to fit their own beliefs.
Monday, May 18, 2009
"In every major case since he became the nation's seventeenth Chief Justice, [John] Roberts has sided with the prosecution over the defendant, the state over the condemned, the executive branch over the legislative, and the corporate defendant over the individual plaintiff, " writes The New Yorker's Jeffrey Toobin. "Roberts has served the interests, and reflected the values, of the contemporary Republican Party."
From The Progress Report, 5/18/2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
- CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
- CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
- Bull Market: A random market movement causing investors to mistake themselves for financial geniuses
- Bear Market: a 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance
- Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower
- Broker: What my financial planner has made me
- Standard & Poor: Your life in a nutshell
- Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks
- Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the drain
- Institutional Investor: Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse
- Profit: An archaic word no longer in use.